Restoration Revisited

This post is a re-run of a post from last December. It's been on my mind, so I thought I would share it again. It is a bit rough, but usually when I write there is a lot of distraction in my house, so concentration doesn't come easy :)

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I am processing through something I heard this weekend at the LIFE retreat. Tricia Gunn referred to the passage in Luke 7 (it's in other places, too), where the "sinful woman" anoints Jesus. She breaks open a very expensive - like a years' wages expensive - jar of perfume and washes His feet with it. What Tricia said about this has stuck in my mind - she said "the money she earned to buy this perfume, she earned lying on her back." And then she basically said that every time she gave herself to a man she gave away a piece of herself, but when she poured out what she had on Jesus, she was restored. He knew what she was and He knew how she got that perfume, but He did not turn her away or turn from her. In fact, He holds her up as an example and says that everywhere the gospel is preached, her story would also be told.

I have found it to be true that the very things I have done in my past that have caused me shame are also the things that, when brought to light and brought before the throne of God, have given me a greater sense of love and acceptance. As long as we try to hide ourselves from God and cover our shame, it is as though we have made camp in a garbage dump. We sit huddled with the mess we've found ourselves in. The only way to be free of something is to give it to someone else. It's like the clutter I am constantly battling to be rid of - I can hang onto it, or I can give it to Goodwill. Even better I can give it to the garbage collectors. But a decision has to be made...hello, it's GARBAGE!

And the same goes for the junk in our soul (mind and emotions). If we want to be rid of guilt and shame or anger or whatever garbage we live with every day, we have to give it to someone else...and that someone isn't your spouse or kids because they can't handle your junk, either. God the Father is the one who stands ready, and really He has already taken it. Once you have chosen to belong to Him - and it is a choice and anyone can make that choice - the only power the past has over you is the power you give it.

Several months ago God showed me that I had been hiding from Him. Even though I knew in my mind that I was forgiven, I still felt a "yuck" that I couldn't shake and so I tried to hide, as though one could hide from Him. It not only blocked that relationship, but it was blocking other relationships - with Dave, with friends, etc. And that was the power my past had over me. I gave it the power to keep me in shame, until, in a moment of time, God put His finger on it and said, "That's not who you are. I have given you a new name." I had to bring it to Him, be honest about what I had done, about who I had been, and let Him speak the truth to me. It was life-changing. You can do that, too...and you don't have to sit in the dumpster as long as I did.

The cool thing is that what I feared - being exposed - was exactly what I needed to be free. And it is what He has used to make me a better servant to people. It drives me to love others. It moves me with compassion. Last night I saw "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader." Without too much background, because this post is long enough already, a boy named Eustace (how horrible for him) had been turned into a dragon. It happened because he gave in to a temptation, even though he had been told temptation was coming...he was weak and so he gave in. There was nothing he could do on his own to change.

In that disappointing state, feeling stuck and feeling sorrow for where he ended up, his destiny to do extraordinary things had not changed. In fact it was exactly because of what he had done, and because he was a dragon that could fly, that he was able to be in a position to be the hero in the story and be used to put all things right. Did that mean what he did was okay? No. Why, then? Because he came to a place of repentance (he turned away from sin toward God). When he met Aslan face to face, suffering the consequences of his sin, he was "healed." In the movie Aslan drew in the sand with His paw and roared a giant lion roar. The dragon scales were blown off and Eustace became a boy again. He became what he always was...the boy that was inside the dragon, but couldn't get free on his own.

My mind instantly went to the story in the gospels of the woman caught in an adulterous situation. Short and sweet, the woman was dragged out, Jesus drew in the sand and said he who is without sin can cast the first stone. No one hung around to condemn her, and He said, "I don't condemn you either, go and sin no more." That's what happened to Eustace. He was confronted by the savior, in his sin...he was caught red-handed, so to speak...no hiding it...and was healed and restored. And his destiny had not changed. He could still be great in the kingdom.

God can build off of your past, whatever it is, whether it's things you did or things other people did to you. You can't change the past, but He can make your foundation strong, building on those things, IF you bring it all to Him. He starts where you are, not where you "should" be. He can take garbage and make it treasure, but we have to choose that. Choose it. Please. There is nothing like being seen for who you really are and knowing that you are loved and cherished, despite all.

** One detail I left out when I wrote this is that I was at a church retreat when I saw that I had been living in a constant feeling of shame. For several years I had wanted to be water baptized (we fully immerse at our church), but hadn't done it yet, primarily because I was already baptized (sprinkled) when I was 12 and I felt like I would be discounting that. Or that people would assume I hadn't been a Christian before. But on this day I knew I needed to do it...it was a sign of a fresh start for me. And it was life-changing. I cannot explain it, but it's as if something was actually washed away in that water, and I have been different ever since. This Wednesday night, at our first Wednesday service, we are offering water baptism. If you've got baggage, had baggage, if you've been thinking you'd like to make a fresh start or you've just never done it before, then do it! Bring some extra clothes and don't think twice! You will not regret it.

Broken

We got back a few days ago from a fabulous trip to Orange Beach with the kids. This is the time of year to go, for sure. Beautiful weather, temperatures in the low-to-mid-80s, low crowds - perfection. For once I wasn't ready to leave when the time came. If you've travelled with young children, you know that, sometimes, it's just time for vacation to be over and everyone knows it. It's time to go home and spread out, because you've been on top of one another and in each other's space for too long. I did finally see a little bit of that on the ride home, but otherwise it was a lot of fun, and much needed.

Sunday morning I went out for an early morning walk on the beach. For whatever reason the beach was littered with shells this weekend, so I was looking down as I walked, looking for some pretty ones to add to the collection. [Side note, be careful what you keep when shell hunting. I did find one ginormous periwinkle-looking shell - it was like 4" x 10" - that I brought back to the condo; however, it had a little bit of whatever had lived inside it before, and it quickly started to stank. Not stink, but stank. It was raunchy, so it stayed at the beach. Check shells for inhabitants before removing them from the beach.]

Anyway, the beach was littered with shells this weekend, and as I was looking and deciding which ones were collection-worthy, I saw one that looked perfect, but when I picked it up I saw that it was missing some pieces, so I put it down and thought, "Bummer, I wish it wasn't broken." Really, I probably said it out loud, because I tend to talk to myself, and answer myself. If you know me, you already knew that ;)

When I said that to myself, I believe God entered my self-conversation, and told me that He really likes the broken ones. And I thought about the parable of the lost sheep in Luke 15. Luke 15:7 says, "I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent." He doesn't look for the perfect ones at all, but He searches out and rejoices over the lost, broken ones.

Of course, I said, well that's because you can fix them...I can't fix a broken shell. I would have to look at the broken shells, and they aren't pretty. And that's really about how I feel sometimes, honestly. God has put a desire in my heart to love broken people, but at the same time there are some selfish things that need to be worked out. And truth be told we are all broken. It's nothing to hide or be ashamed of. In fact, the longer you hide it, the longer you have to live with it. Shame thrives in darkness, but freedom comes in the light (honesty, in this case).

He has also put within me a love for taking things that are old, and worn out, and making them "new" again (notice I said I love it, I didn't say I was great at it :). Or repurposing things...giving them new purpose, new value. It's a holy thing to take something that was meant to be beautiful, that has been abused or worn out, and restore it.

And I'm not talking about furniture, I'm talking about you. Where are you broken? Don't hide it. God doesn't turn away from things the way we do. Not that He approves of sin, but He isn't afraid of it, or grossed out by it in a child that is ready to be free from it - and He's seen it all. There's nothing new. Anyone who wants to be restored can be. He is really good at redefining, repurposing and recreating. Go ahead, try it and see.

On my mind...

This passage of scripture, from 1 Corinthians, Chapter 3, has been on my mind...

"For you are still [unspiritual, having the nature] of the flesh. For as long as [there are] envying and jealousy and factions among you, are you not unspiritual and of the flesh, behaving yourselves after a human standard and like mere (unchanged) men? For when one says, I belong to Paul, and another, I belong to Apollos, are you not [proving yourselves] ordinary (unchanged) men?  What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Ministering servants through whom you believed, even as the Lord appointed to each his task:  I planted, Apollos watered, but God was making it grow and gave the increase. So neither he who plants is anything nor he who waters, but [only] God Who makes it grow and become greater."

I wish churches, individual fellowships of believers, could get this. So much more could be accomplished if we didn't feel the need to claim that our pastor is the best, that we have all the right answers and that we are the best. In saying we, I mean the church at large, not any one church. I just wish there was more unity, respect and cooperation.

I don't care where you go to church, so long as it's Biblically solid, and it's serving and loving people (not that it matters what I think, but I'm just saying). Let's not be childish, unchanged people.

There. I feel better. ;)

Look Who's Talking

These are some of Baby's favorite words right now (this would be Christopher, but he gets called Baby more often than not):

The Words With Translation

Kickee - Cookie

Cuck - Truck

Cuck - Cup (context clues are essential around here)

Coocoocle - Motorcycle

Bite - Bite

Bite - Bike

Bup - Bus

Moooowa - More

Peeeeeee - Please (in the sweetest voice ever)

Poon - Spoon

Poon (while pointing at the cabinet) - I want peanut butter on a spoon

Baw - Ball

Ba - Bottle (yes, he still drinks milk from a bottle)

Therthy - Thirsty

Caycake - Pancake

Yeahhhh - Yeah, yes, okay, yes I want some of that, sounds great

MaMA - Mama (emphasizing the second syllable)

Nite nite - His blanket

Thzzzzzzz - Cheese

Thzz it - Cheez-Its

Yayee - Stroller ride...no idea why

Yayee - Caeley

Da-yee - Daddy

You see a theme? Most are food related, no surprise. The boy loves to eat.

More Riley-isms

More Riley-isms - I have to keep up with this stuff ;)

Does God eat the food in my tummy or smoothies or what? "Why?" I ask. Well, He lives in my tummy and there's food in there.

Do bees burp?

I don't want Baby to be a daddy one day, because I love Christopher. I want him to stay a baby.

I wish you got two chips for being mean. It's hard to be nice! (re: the poker chip reward system)

I love my baby moth...let's give him a hug and kiss!

Yes, I am in charge!

I am in charge of baby.

Mom, Corban is not obeying meeeeeee!

Mom, you are not obeying meeeeeee!

Daddy is a lifetime thinker. He's always thinking about things, so he's a lifetime thinker.

I wish I had a Smurf (which sounds more like Smurp).I don't have any pets and I want a Smurf.

Salt

You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

Part 1 - Salt

This is a very familiar passage of scripture found in Matthew 5, and I've been thinking about it a lot. It tells us - followers of Christ - that in relation to the world, we are salt and light. It says that's what we are, not what we can be...we are, present tense, indicative mood...a simple statement of fact.

Salt is both a preservative and a seasoning, but in the context here, it's clearly referring to it's taste, not it's ability to preserve. How many times have you eaten something and said, "It needs a little salt?" Whenever a dish is lacking in flavor, salt is almost always what it needs. It is added to cookies to enhance the sweetness, and it's added to vegetables to make them tolerable. I mean, really, you can manage to eat just about anything, if you can add a little salt.

The verse says, what good is salt if it loses it's flavor? It's good for nothing. Here's the thing: pure salt can't lose it's flavor. It's salt, so it's salty. It's a mineral, not a spice that comes from plants and whose flavor does fade over time. Salt can lose it's flavor, however, if it becomes contaminated with something.

If we are salt, then we need to be used as such. We keep our salt in a salt shaker. It's salty in there, alright, but useless until it's poured out, bringing flavor to whatever it touches. Until then it's just a shaker filled with potential. I feel that our churches are much the same. As long as we stay contained inside our buildings, doing the Jesus thing during designated hours of the week, we are potential flavor in a bottle, never poured out for the world.

I don't know if you've noticed, but the world can be a very tasteless, intolerable place. A little salt would go a long way. A smile, a little conversation, an extra tip for the waitress, some yard work for a single mom, a little elbow grease for an elderly person, clothing for someone in need, a judgment-free hot meal for the homeless, and I could go on and on. Salt.

You are salt. I am salt. If we aren't making a difference in the world, then I see at least two things that could be the problem: one, we just aren't carrying our faith outside the church building; two, we are contaminated.

We live in an environment full of contaminants. If we don't guard our hearts, that stuff gets in, watering down our flavor, and then we taste just like everything else. We blend in, no noticeable difference. Self-centeredness is probably the biggest contaminate, and shows up through materialism, fear, trying to fit in, even being "relevant" to the point that you are no different - you've just added Jesus, and maybe you're a little nicer. Well, I don't know about you, but if I am salting my green beans, I don't want to add more green bean flavor...I want something different. I want salt. Ask God to show you if there is anything contaminating your life - that's His job, not mine. I'm just encouraging you to think about it.

I know I have a long way to go, but this is what motivates me to reach people. He re-created me for this. You, too. We really can make a difference in the world we live in...wherever we find ourselves planted in it. This Saturday, July 16, is a great opportunity to love people in Auburn. If you live here and want to serve, meet us at Church of the Highlands at 8:00, and we will help you find a place to serve. I am praying that this becomes a lifestyle for us, as a church body.

Progress

**I realize this is a "lightweight" post. These are the kinds of projects I do when I am processing the bigger things in life.**

Progress is happening in the living room. The USB cable for the camera is missing, so I had to resort to Instagram to take a picture...which means things look even more monochromatic than they really are. One day maybe these walls will get painted, but for now I'm happy.

Again I wish there was a before picture, so you could fully appreciate the difference. It was so thrown together, haphazard and wires were showing everywhere.

The bookshelf is almost finished. There are two shelves that need painting, then it will be done. Somehow it always seems like there is some little detail of a project that is left undone. I won't leave it that way for long this time.

This was an old mirror that I got for free at a thrift store. I removed the glass, which looked terrible and turned it into a chalkboard, where I can write not-so-subliminal messages to my kids.

This is a napkin I found at World Market...I bought two of them. They will be a pillows. Eventually.

Next is to deal with the furniture. We have no less than four different fabrics happening in there. Serious visual clutter. I'm seriously considering an attempt at making my own slipcovers. Pray for me.