I Miss This Girl

I miss this girl.

(I have no idea why Blogger posted the picture twice and it won't let me delete..so enjoy it twice ;)

Today marks 8 months since she went to be with the Lord. I rarely look at this picture because it almost shocks me, if that makes sense, but it's one of my favorites. I think it captures her so well.

I keep thinking I should be "over" it by now - I don't know why - but, I'm not. And I don't think I ever will be, and I think that's okay. There isn't a day that passes that several times something doesn't remind me of her. So much of my thinking and growth was impacted either by her directly or she was simply there along the way. As a wise woman just told me, who shall remain nameless because I didn't ask her permission, Summer embodied Jesus to me in many ways. She was human and she wasn't perfect and we had issues now and then, like everyone does (and they were usually my issues...I'd be nervous to read her journal :) but, her friendship brought incredible healing to my soul. And a hole like that isn't quickly or easily filled, and may never really be.

That may sound hopeless, but it's not. I heard a well-known pastor recently talk about death and grieving and he made it sound as though we should just be joyful when a loved one goes ahead of us to heaven. Almost as if we should feel bad for grieving because it means we lack faith. I wanted to slap him for putting such a pharisaical load on the shoulders of those that follow his ministry (in my opinion).

The Bible says we don't grieve in the same way that those who have no hope do...not to the same degree or proportion. We shouldn't be overtaken by grief, but it does not say we don't grieve. It's just that our grief is tempered by the hope of eternity.

The day will come when all tears will be wiped away, there will be no more death and mourning for the old order of things will have passed away. He will make all things new.

We will see Summer again and all others who have gone ahead to be with the Lord. We will laugh, talk, remember, live.

I look so forward to that day. In the meantime, I really miss her.

Who Is My Neighbor?

"Now an expert in religious law stood up to test Jesus, saying, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 

He said to him, “What is written in the law? How do you understand it?” 

The expert answered, “ Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind , and love your neighbor as yourself .” 

Jesus said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” 

But the expert, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”  

[Jesus then tells the familiar story about the "Good Samaritan," then asks the "expert,"]

"Which of these three do you think became a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?”  

The expert in religious law said, “The one who showed mercy to him.” 

So Jesus said to him, “Go and do the same.” (Luke 10:25-29, 36, 37 NET)
***not the point of this post but note that this directive is connected to the man's original question about inheriting eternal life. Not a small detail***

I find this so interesting, especially in reading this translation. It brings out something I've never seen before. The expert asks who his neighbor is, implying that there are some who aren't considered neighbors. Some he doesn't have to love. He wants to know where the line is, perhaps.

Where can I draw the line?

Jesus tells the whole story about the Good Samaritan and then asks not, who was the neighbor in this story, which might have directed attention to the injured man on the side of the road (which is how I've always read this for some reason) but who BECAME a neighbor? It's not so much that I didn't see this truth before, but I've not paid attention to the way Jesus asked the question.

The question isn't who is my neighbor, but to whom will I become a neighbor? Will I be a neighbor? Will I choose love? 

Every question we have always seems to come back around to us...to the condition of our own hearts.

Jesus, which of these people am I required to love? The answer, are you willing to love them all?

Who of them is my neighbor? Are you willing to be a neighbor first?

What about that person over there? What about you?

What must I do to be saved? Give up anything that hinders love.

I hope we are willing because Jesus said, now that you understand what is required, "Go and do likewise."

On Being a Caterpillar

One thing I love about God's creativity in creation is that we can see spiritual realities mirrored in it. For example:

(Source unknown)

We call this a caterpillar. 

A caterpillar is actually a butterfly, not a unique entity called a caterpillar. It's an immature, baby butterfly, but as long as nothing disrupts its life cycle, it will surely become what it is. What I mean is that the internal reality will be seen outwardly, in its fullness, in due time. It's built into its DNA to build a cocoon and be transformed into a butterfly. There's work involved but it doesn't try really hard, necessarily. It simply follows its inward promptings, sets the environment and boom...wings, colors, beauty...butterfly. It becomes something that looks completely (almost) different. 

(Photo from http://www.webexhibits.org/causesofcolor/15A.html )

Of course we learned in elementary school that it's called metamorphosis. From the Greek word, "metamorphoo," meaning, "to change into another form, to transform, to transfigure." 

We see that same word used in scripture in these verses...

Matthew 17:2 And He [Jesus] was transfigured before them; and His face shone like the sun, and His garments became as white as light.

2 Cor 3:18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

Does that blow your mind like it does mine? The same word used to describe the transfiguration of Jesus is used for our transfiguration into His image. What?! We behold His glory and we are being transformed into that same image...the image of His glory! Are you kidding, God? 

Nope.

 In the same way we see the caterpillar transfigured - in that small, yet huge, example - when we are saved, when we accept the salvation provided to us through Jesus and make Him Lord over our lives, we have the glory of Christ within us. We are immature, baby, bearers of His glory, but just as surely as a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, we will be transformed into the image of His glory. It, too, involves work, in a sense, but it's not that we try hard, it's that we follow the inward promptings of the spirit...step by step, from "glory to glory." We see in part while we are here and will see it in fullness in eternity. It's in our spiritual DNA and will be seen not only spiritually, but physically. In due time. 

Glory is in you, believer. His glory is in you.

Wow.

Grace and Obedience Are Not Opposites

Grace and obedience are not Biblical opposites, so why do they seem to be consistently set in opposition to one another? 

Love for God can no more simply be an emotion, than marital love can. If you can just fall in love with God then you could presumably fall right back out when things get difficult, or boring. Love involves emotion, but love is ultimately a choice and love is action. I didn't make that up. God did.

God's love is not earned by obedience, but our love for Him is demonstrated and seen through our obedience to His Word. If there is no fruit of obedience, dare I say, works, then, perhaps, there is no love. 

Why is this a problem for people? Seriously. What are people afraid of when love, grace and works are all mentioned in the same sentence?

Here's Where I Say Some Weird Stuff and Show My Debbie Downer Side

It is an absolutely gorgeous day here today, so we took advantage of it by spending most of the morning outside. After I played a few rounds of Memory with Christopher, he was happy to go searching under rocks for bugs. That gave me a few minutes to just lay down in the grass and enjoy the warmth of the sunshine - a very welcome thing after months of cold and clouds.

Over the last few years, more often than not, when I have moments like that, I begin to feel that what I am enjoying is almost a false reality. I know that might sound strange, and I don't know if I really have words to express what I feel, but I feel that somehow it won't last, as if it isn't real at all. Like one day the ability to experience peaceful moments like that will be a rare opportunity.

In a sense it already is, I guess. For most of us peaceful moments don't come around often enough. For some, they never come around. This morning, because of some conversations I've had with Dave and Caeley, I found myself wondering if people in concentration camps ever found/find themselves able to enjoy a few minutes of sunshine, undisturbed, and imagine themselves in a better place and time, only to be snatched back to reality.

I know these sound like strange thoughts, and I have no explanation for it other than God must have made my mind to think this way. I couldn't begin to say why, but I am well aware that while I lay in the back yard, there is a war going on in the world around us. We see it on different levels, but it's real. It feels like quiet moments are glimpses of heaven and the pain and suffering and wickedness are reality in this world we live in.

For the most part trouble has remained an offshore problem as it relates to Americans. I dont believe that will always be the case. Isn't that encouraging? The good news is that God never leaves or forsakes His people. So, all I know to do is maintain my relationship with Him and keep myself in a position to hear His voice. He is trustworthy.

In the meantime I'm going to enjoy every ray of sunshine and every glimpse of heaven I get.

Exodus 33:18,19

Creative title, huh?

I've been thinking about Exodus 33, where God showed Moses His glory, which was His goodness. Glory, in many cases, refers to the true essence of God. It's the revelation of who He is...His character. 

In Exodus, God showed Moses His goodness, which is the essence of who He is. Everything He does is good. All His judgments are good and all His works are good. Over the last year or so I have found myself trying to take that truth and make it mean that everything that happens in our lives must also be good, if it was allowed to happen. Maybe it came out of a desire not to question God's goodness.

I certainly don't understand the ins and outs of the sovereignty of God, but I do not believe that is necessarily true. I think things happen in our lives, in our world, that simply aren't good. Tragic things happen. Sad things happen. We live in a fallen world and I don't think God calls all things good. I might be wrong. Those wiser than me may correct me on that.

What I do know and believe is that while bad things happen, He promises to turn them for good. Or, maybe it is better said that He promises to bring good out of tragic circumstances, in the lives of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). 

He "works" things together for good. In my mind I envision it as the wringing out of a wet washcloth. Twisting, squeezing, wringing, every last drop of water out. Nothing wasted. I don't know if that makes sense. It's just what I see. I don't know if we are the ones being wrung out or if it's the circumstance. I know it can feel like we are the ones being twisted and squeezed.

It can be so hard to trust Him when it hurts. But I believe that if we don't give up, and we keep pushing and reaching to touch even the hem of his garment, that He will be faithful and we will be able again to see clearly the goodness of the Lord.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on his faithful followers.  For he knows what we are made of; he realizes we are made of clay. (Psalms 103:13, 14 NET)

The First Commandment

You know, I think if our hearts are turned toward God, toward righteousness, toward humility, then He smiles at our weakness much more than we realize. I am constantly aware of the ways I fall short, and no doubt He is, too, but I believe when He looks at me He doesn't see that first. Since He looks at the heart, He first sees the direction and intention of my heart, despite the way it plays out in my life.

At church this past weekend, Mike Bickle reminded us that the first and primary commandment is to love God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. That's our purpose and highest calling. Not ministry, not work, not marriage, not parenting or anything else. If you wonder about your purpose start there. All else flows out from that place. This is a new way of thinking for me. I've known it but not known it, know what I mean?

The Lord has been teaching me, reminding me, often over the last several months that He is my audience. His opinion is the one that matters most. And His opinion of us is not nearly as negative as ours often is of ourselves. That is a freeing truth, friends.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the  Lord  has compassion on his faithful followers.  For he knows what we are made of; he realizes we are made of clay - Psalm 103:13, 14 NET