It is an absolutely gorgeous day here today, so we took advantage of it by spending most of the morning outside. After I played a few rounds of Memory with Christopher, he was happy to go searching under rocks for bugs. That gave me a few minutes to just lay down in the grass and enjoy the warmth of the sunshine - a very welcome thing after months of cold and clouds.
Over the last few years, more often than not, when I have moments like that, I begin to feel that what I am enjoying is almost a false reality. I know that might sound strange, and I don't know if I really have words to express what I feel, but I feel that somehow it won't last, as if it isn't real at all. Like one day the ability to experience peaceful moments like that will be a rare opportunity.
In a sense it already is, I guess. For most of us peaceful moments don't come around often enough. For some, they never come around. This morning, because of some conversations I've had with Dave and Caeley, I found myself wondering if people in concentration camps ever found/find themselves able to enjoy a few minutes of sunshine, undisturbed, and imagine themselves in a better place and time, only to be snatched back to reality.
I know these sound like strange thoughts, and I have no explanation for it other than God must have made my mind to think this way. I couldn't begin to say why, but I am well aware that while I lay in the back yard, there is a war going on in the world around us. We see it on different levels, but it's real. It feels like quiet moments are glimpses of heaven and the pain and suffering and wickedness are reality in this world we live in.
For the most part trouble has remained an offshore problem as it relates to Americans. I dont believe that will always be the case. Isn't that encouraging? The good news is that God never leaves or forsakes His people. So, all I know to do is maintain my relationship with Him and keep myself in a position to hear His voice. He is trustworthy.
In the meantime I'm going to enjoy every ray of sunshine and every glimpse of heaven I get.