This morning I came to the realization that I am not really great at anything right now. I'm okay at a few things, and really bad at some, but not over-the-top in any of the roles I play. I'm not a great housekeeper or cook or organizer and I don't feel like a fabulous mother lately. This isn't a pity party, I'm just wondering if this is just how it is during a season of life when I'm wearing lots of hats and have three little kids. Maybe I don't have time to be excellent :) Can that be my excuse?
Anybody relate?
4.04.2012
4.03.2012
**This is me processing through something. If you're not into the Bible, or studying the Bible, you may not find this subject to matter at all. From the outset let me say I am not, nor do I claim to be, a Bible scholar, or expert. So, if you disagree feel free to comment.**
For whatever reason it bothers me when I hear people talk about how we are no longer under the Old Testament Law (or they may call it "works") and how we are under grace now, as if there wasn't grace before. As if God used to be a mean guy, but then He sent Jesus to be nice to us. Good cop/bad cop at the highest level.
The Old Covenant was never a covenant of works, because no man's works have ever been enough to save him. The works were supposed to be an outward expression of an inward reality - the heart devoted to the Lord. Always. That's the way it was and that's the way it is. He has always looked at the heart.
"What then shall we say that Abraham, our forefather, discovered in this matter? If, in fact, Abraham was justified by works, he had something to boast about–but not before God. What does the Scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” (Romans 4:1-3 NIV84)
It goes on to say that Abraham was considered righteous before he was circumcised - before he had any works. It was faith that made him righteous; however, faith requires action, so he followed through with circumcision. He obeyed as a result of his faith. Faith without works is dead and works without faith are dead. They go hand in hand.
The point I am making is this: the Law itself wasn't an agent of salvation; therefore, no man could ever be saved by just keeping the rules. No person who ever entered heaven got there by his own merit or by his own goodness. Every person who has ever entered heaven got there by faith in God and His provision. Since all men have fallen short, and all struggle with the internal filth we call sin, they all entered because God was gracious. Grace is not new. It has been ever-present throughout history. I do not believe that God had a personality overhaul 2,000 years ago. It has always been and always will be about grace.
That is all. And down off my soapbox I go.
For whatever reason it bothers me when I hear people talk about how we are no longer under the Old Testament Law (or they may call it "works") and how we are under grace now, as if there wasn't grace before. As if God used to be a mean guy, but then He sent Jesus to be nice to us. Good cop/bad cop at the highest level.
The Old Covenant was never a covenant of works, because no man's works have ever been enough to save him. The works were supposed to be an outward expression of an inward reality - the heart devoted to the Lord. Always. That's the way it was and that's the way it is. He has always looked at the heart.
"What then shall we say that Abraham, our forefather, discovered in this matter? If, in fact, Abraham was justified by works, he had something to boast about–but not before God. What does the Scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” (Romans 4:1-3 NIV84)
It goes on to say that Abraham was considered righteous before he was circumcised - before he had any works. It was faith that made him righteous; however, faith requires action, so he followed through with circumcision. He obeyed as a result of his faith. Faith without works is dead and works without faith are dead. They go hand in hand.
The point I am making is this: the Law itself wasn't an agent of salvation; therefore, no man could ever be saved by just keeping the rules. No person who ever entered heaven got there by his own merit or by his own goodness. Every person who has ever entered heaven got there by faith in God and His provision. Since all men have fallen short, and all struggle with the internal filth we call sin, they all entered because God was gracious. Grace is not new. It has been ever-present throughout history. I do not believe that God had a personality overhaul 2,000 years ago. It has always been and always will be about grace.
That is all. And down off my soapbox I go.
4.01.2012
2.21.2012
All I Need
I heard this song for the first time the other day (because I'm always behind) and loved it immediately. If you've never heard it, take a listen. Mat Kearney wrote it about friends who went through Hurricane Katrina, but I think we can all insert ourselves into it in this: when everything else we have is threatened or blown away, we stand firm when our roots run deep in love. When events come along that shake away the temporal things that are shakeable, love remains. Love is unshakeable. Love never fails.
2.07.2012
A Very Uplifting Thought for the Day ;)
Okay, I lied. You might not really find this uplifting, but...
"Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.'" (Matthew 16:24, 25 NASB)
This morning this verse really messed with me. His was a cross of shame, disgrace, rejection and physical pain. What does it mean to take up my cross? To follow Him?
After the resurrection, Jesus said to Peter:
I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!” (John 21:18, 19 NIV84)
For Peter it meant a literal cross-bearing, a literal following in Jesus' footsteps. He was led to a place He did not want to go, but by choice. Not that he chose it specifically, but he chose to fulfill his calling, knowing the risks, thereby choosing to take up his cross.
For us it's much less literal, at least here in America. When I was thinking about what it means to take up my cross, this is what came to mind: there are times in life that we will be taken to places we do not want to go - painful, uncomfortable, disgraceful places - in order that God be glorified in our lives and/or that we be sanctified.
Sometimes it isn't us at all, but people we love that are taken to places we don't want them to have to go. Jesus took our eternal suffering, but not our temporal suffering on Earth...much as I wish He had. We might stomp our feet and say "No!" like Peter did when Jesus told them about His impending death, but His plan won't be thwarted.
What does it look like to bear a cross?
Sometimes it's rejection. Be willing to be disgraced for Him.
Sometimes it's sickness. Be willing to hold fast to your testimony that He is good, no matter what.
Sometimes it's letting go of reputation and posturing and looking "good," so that He can have a chance, for once, to really change you. Be willing to look foolish.
Sometimes it's letting go of a relationship that isn't leading us toward Life. Be willing to be lonely.
Sometimes it's choosing to live life in a way completely different than the world around you does. Be willing to be called "weird."
Sometimes it's moving out into unfamiliar territory, so that He can love people through you. Wash feet. Serve a cup of water. Wipe a tear. Be willing to help carry a cross that isn't yours.
Sometimes it's death. Be willing to lay down your life for the sake of another.
Cross-bearing can take any number of forms, but one thing is necessary no matter the hardship. We have got to be willing to lose our lives (or the things we think bring life), in order to gain real Life. It's very simple but so hard to do. We must hold all things loosely. ALL things. Family, friends, money, reputation, children.
Even as I say that I cringe. That's why He said it's a cross we must bear. There is a cost to be counted. It's not a game. But His glory is so worth it and His goodness deserves it.
I really can't even do this subject matter justice. I can't say anything more than, Lord, strengthen my weak knees.
"Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.'" (Matthew 16:24, 25 NASB)
This morning this verse really messed with me. His was a cross of shame, disgrace, rejection and physical pain. What does it mean to take up my cross? To follow Him?
After the resurrection, Jesus said to Peter:
I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!” (John 21:18, 19 NIV84)
For Peter it meant a literal cross-bearing, a literal following in Jesus' footsteps. He was led to a place He did not want to go, but by choice. Not that he chose it specifically, but he chose to fulfill his calling, knowing the risks, thereby choosing to take up his cross.
For us it's much less literal, at least here in America. When I was thinking about what it means to take up my cross, this is what came to mind: there are times in life that we will be taken to places we do not want to go - painful, uncomfortable, disgraceful places - in order that God be glorified in our lives and/or that we be sanctified.
Sometimes it isn't us at all, but people we love that are taken to places we don't want them to have to go. Jesus took our eternal suffering, but not our temporal suffering on Earth...much as I wish He had. We might stomp our feet and say "No!" like Peter did when Jesus told them about His impending death, but His plan won't be thwarted.
What does it look like to bear a cross?
Sometimes it's rejection. Be willing to be disgraced for Him.
Sometimes it's sickness. Be willing to hold fast to your testimony that He is good, no matter what.
Sometimes it's letting go of reputation and posturing and looking "good," so that He can have a chance, for once, to really change you. Be willing to look foolish.
Sometimes it's letting go of a relationship that isn't leading us toward Life. Be willing to be lonely.
Sometimes it's choosing to live life in a way completely different than the world around you does. Be willing to be called "weird."
Sometimes it's moving out into unfamiliar territory, so that He can love people through you. Wash feet. Serve a cup of water. Wipe a tear. Be willing to help carry a cross that isn't yours.
Sometimes it's death. Be willing to lay down your life for the sake of another.
Cross-bearing can take any number of forms, but one thing is necessary no matter the hardship. We have got to be willing to lose our lives (or the things we think bring life), in order to gain real Life. It's very simple but so hard to do. We must hold all things loosely. ALL things. Family, friends, money, reputation, children.
Even as I say that I cringe. That's why He said it's a cross we must bear. There is a cost to be counted. It's not a game. But His glory is so worth it and His goodness deserves it.
I really can't even do this subject matter justice. I can't say anything more than, Lord, strengthen my weak knees.
2.03.2012
House Rules
I finally finished a project I've been working on for a while. Well, not actually working on, but thinking about working on. I got a big picture frame (really big) for free (from the side of the road) and knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. It only took about 3 months to follow through, but...
We have a lot of rules ;) They are all important...I couldn't ditch any of them.
Thank you Pinterest for the inspiration. One project down, about 100 more to go.
1.11.2012
C25K, Supermom and a Crash
Well, it's been an interesting day.
For starters, I decided to start Couch to 5k this morning. Why? I have no idea. If you know me well, you might find this funny. I've always joked that I don't run unless I'm being chased. What's not funny is how out of shape I am. Don't let the skinny legs fool you - skinny does NOT equal healthy, or in shape.
You start with a 5 minute walk, then do a 60 second run, followed by another minute and a half walk, etc. I was so nervous while I was walking because I was literally scared that I had forgotten how to run. I kept checking the clock and looking around for cars. Turns out I remembered how to do it, but it felt awkward.
During the first 60-second run, I was having chest pains and I thought, there is no way I will live through this. Could I have a heart attack? Should I have had a physical first? Not to mention the damp, cold, 17 mile per hour wind that was blowing and setting my lungs on fire. The second run felt the same way, but after that it got easier. I guess my body accepted the fact that I was going to continue and it stopped having a fit. I survived and was planning to do day 2 tomorrow; however, the forecast is calling for chilly 22 mile per hour winds. I'm not digging that, so we'll see if I make it or not.
Later in the day I decided to take the boys to the library, because Corban has been asking to go. They were behaving fairly well, so today was the day to do it. We were playing in the kids area, when another mom came in with her two boys. They looked to be about 4 and 18 months. They looked at a couple of books, then picked up some dinosaurs...this is when I realized she was no ordinary mom. She was an "over-achiever." If you are one, no offense. I'm impressed, I'm just not where you are.
First of all we rarely actually look at books when we go to the library, so she had one up on me already. But then she showed off by calling all the dinosaurs by their proper names. What?! Her 4 year old knew the names, too, and she corrected him when he got them wrong. Some I had never heard of.
They discussed mammals and how they have hair, and that whales are also mammals. When she pretended that the brachiosaurus he was holding ate a dolphin, he said mom, I don't eat meat, I eat plants. How does he know this already? I don't this already. Christopher picked up a whale and said "Nemo." Which sounded like "me-mo," which sounded like "mammal" to supermom. I said, "oh no...we're no that advanced." Uh-uh. We know there was one of these thingys on Finding Nemo.
About that time she saw that she got some food on her pants at lunch...mashed potatoes. So now I'm thinking, the woman cooks at lunch time. I don't even remember what my kids had for lunch today. I'm just happy when they eat something.
In my defense, I will say that my kids eat a lot of natural and organic food...they're just really picky, won't touch vegetables and the only meats they like are bacon and chicken nuggets from Wendy's or Chick-Fil-a.
Anyway, I'm thinking this woman has got it going on. Her little one got antsy so they walked around for a few minutes. While they were gone Christopher wanted to play a game on my iPad and Corban grabbed the iPod that was in my purse to play Angry Birds. When she came back in I was all self-conscious, what with my kids playing games while at the library, when they could be getting educated. Thankfully Christopher and I were playing a matching game. I made sure to say, "Good job Christopher, you made a match! Let's find another match," so she would know we were playing an educational game, not a mindless, fun game that was turning our brains to mush. She scurried back over to the Legos with her kids - I imagined she didn't want them to be tempted by our brain polluting games.
When it was time to leave Corban asked if he could play the iPod some more in the car. I said, in front of her, "I'll have to think about it. It's not good to spend too much time playing games like that." Then as soon as we got to the car I handed it right back to him. (FYI, I really don't let him spend that much time playing because it really isn't a good thing. He has the potential to become an addict.) I don't know why I felt the need to act that way. Isn't that ridiculous? My word.
After they ate lunch and went down for naps, I needed to go pick Riley up from school. I hopped in the van backed out of the driveway and BAM, I hit something. Freaked me out. I never saw it coming, but an Alagasco van was pulling out of the driveway across the street at the exact same time as me. What are the odds? He never saw me either. Thankfully Dave was off today, so he went to get Riley while I stayed to wait for the police to get there.
They determined that we were equally at fault, so hopefully all we will be responsible for is the deductible. And I am loving the Alagasco supervisor that came out. He said he wants to try to get our deductible paid for by the gas company. That says a lot about the company and about him. I hope that works out. I don't even know what our deductible is, but I already got a repair estimate. A little over $4,000. That's a lot of damage for two cars going under 10 miles an hour!
I'm just thankful the kids weren't in the car and that it was minor, with no injuries. My back might need some adjusting, but it already needed that. It was downhill the rest of the day. I mean that in a positive sense...does that expression have negative connotations? It's all downhill from there. Anyway, I'm tired and my body hurts from all the running and crashing and I'm going to bed.
Night night.
For starters, I decided to start Couch to 5k this morning. Why? I have no idea. If you know me well, you might find this funny. I've always joked that I don't run unless I'm being chased. What's not funny is how out of shape I am. Don't let the skinny legs fool you - skinny does NOT equal healthy, or in shape.
You start with a 5 minute walk, then do a 60 second run, followed by another minute and a half walk, etc. I was so nervous while I was walking because I was literally scared that I had forgotten how to run. I kept checking the clock and looking around for cars. Turns out I remembered how to do it, but it felt awkward.
During the first 60-second run, I was having chest pains and I thought, there is no way I will live through this. Could I have a heart attack? Should I have had a physical first? Not to mention the damp, cold, 17 mile per hour wind that was blowing and setting my lungs on fire. The second run felt the same way, but after that it got easier. I guess my body accepted the fact that I was going to continue and it stopped having a fit. I survived and was planning to do day 2 tomorrow; however, the forecast is calling for chilly 22 mile per hour winds. I'm not digging that, so we'll see if I make it or not.
Later in the day I decided to take the boys to the library, because Corban has been asking to go. They were behaving fairly well, so today was the day to do it. We were playing in the kids area, when another mom came in with her two boys. They looked to be about 4 and 18 months. They looked at a couple of books, then picked up some dinosaurs...this is when I realized she was no ordinary mom. She was an "over-achiever." If you are one, no offense. I'm impressed, I'm just not where you are.
First of all we rarely actually look at books when we go to the library, so she had one up on me already. But then she showed off by calling all the dinosaurs by their proper names. What?! Her 4 year old knew the names, too, and she corrected him when he got them wrong. Some I had never heard of.
They discussed mammals and how they have hair, and that whales are also mammals. When she pretended that the brachiosaurus he was holding ate a dolphin, he said mom, I don't eat meat, I eat plants. How does he know this already? I don't this already. Christopher picked up a whale and said "Nemo." Which sounded like "me-mo," which sounded like "mammal" to supermom. I said, "oh no...we're no that advanced." Uh-uh. We know there was one of these thingys on Finding Nemo.
About that time she saw that she got some food on her pants at lunch...mashed potatoes. So now I'm thinking, the woman cooks at lunch time. I don't even remember what my kids had for lunch today. I'm just happy when they eat something.
In my defense, I will say that my kids eat a lot of natural and organic food...they're just really picky, won't touch vegetables and the only meats they like are bacon and chicken nuggets from Wendy's or Chick-Fil-a.
Anyway, I'm thinking this woman has got it going on. Her little one got antsy so they walked around for a few minutes. While they were gone Christopher wanted to play a game on my iPad and Corban grabbed the iPod that was in my purse to play Angry Birds. When she came back in I was all self-conscious, what with my kids playing games while at the library, when they could be getting educated. Thankfully Christopher and I were playing a matching game. I made sure to say, "Good job Christopher, you made a match! Let's find another match," so she would know we were playing an educational game, not a mindless, fun game that was turning our brains to mush. She scurried back over to the Legos with her kids - I imagined she didn't want them to be tempted by our brain polluting games.
When it was time to leave Corban asked if he could play the iPod some more in the car. I said, in front of her, "I'll have to think about it. It's not good to spend too much time playing games like that." Then as soon as we got to the car I handed it right back to him. (FYI, I really don't let him spend that much time playing because it really isn't a good thing. He has the potential to become an addict.) I don't know why I felt the need to act that way. Isn't that ridiculous? My word.
After they ate lunch and went down for naps, I needed to go pick Riley up from school. I hopped in the van backed out of the driveway and BAM, I hit something. Freaked me out. I never saw it coming, but an Alagasco van was pulling out of the driveway across the street at the exact same time as me. What are the odds? He never saw me either. Thankfully Dave was off today, so he went to get Riley while I stayed to wait for the police to get there.
They determined that we were equally at fault, so hopefully all we will be responsible for is the deductible. And I am loving the Alagasco supervisor that came out. He said he wants to try to get our deductible paid for by the gas company. That says a lot about the company and about him. I hope that works out. I don't even know what our deductible is, but I already got a repair estimate. A little over $4,000. That's a lot of damage for two cars going under 10 miles an hour!
I'm just thankful the kids weren't in the car and that it was minor, with no injuries. My back might need some adjusting, but it already needed that. It was downhill the rest of the day. I mean that in a positive sense...does that expression have negative connotations? It's all downhill from there. Anyway, I'm tired and my body hurts from all the running and crashing and I'm going to bed.
Night night.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)