Purple Cow

It's been a while since I posted...I had a really active week or two of posting and then fizzled out. Oh well, that's pretty typical...BUT you know what? I just might be a purple cow...that might be part of my purple-cow-ness. Our Pastor, Brandon, talked tonight about being a purple cow (about standing out) and that we really need to embrace the way God made us, quirks and all (I added the quirk part, but I think he would say, yes, quirks, too). I needed to hear that for lots of reasons. I am about to lead a LIFE small group, but I don't really feel leader-like...I have my own style that's different from others who lead really well and I really don't like being in charge (I think it's probably the expectations I don't like). Then there's the whole "Big Momma" thing (she's my alter ego :). I sometimes wonder and have asked God, who is going to take me seriously when it seems like all I am able to do is act like a total dork? It's either that or I look like a wall-flower because I don't do especially well with people I don't know. Off stage, out of costume I am pretty shy, on stage, and in costume, I'm a goober...who could expect a whole lot of depth from that combination? At home we have issues because I am not so much a detail person. Out-of-sight-out-of-mind is the way I operate. I can easily forget that load of laundry I washed 2 days ago that probably smells atrocious...or the pile of cheerios one of the kids spilled in the car...or to deal with the receipts I am supposed to put by the computer so we can keep up with our spending. All that is par for the course with me...but what also underlies that is a gifting God has given me. I have come to see that being a "free spirit" is just part of who I am. I need to learn to train myself to pay more attention to detail, yes, but I will not any longer be down on myself for who I am. It has purpose. I am a free-spirited, dorky, quiet at times, loud at others, leader...and I like it...I AM A PURPLE COW!!!!