Top ___ Things I learned This Year

So, I thought I would make a list of the top 10 things I learned this year. It sounds like an end of year kind of thing to do, right? I really didn't know if would come up with 10, but to my surprise there were like 12 or 13 (I'm too lazy to count right now) - which really bugs me because 10 is just a better number. But, I couldn't cut any of them because they are all legit. So, without further delay, here they are (in no particular order):

• In dirty diapers and in life, there are times when you're just gonna get some on you. It's a waste of time to try and stay clean, so just jump in and take care of business. In short, life is messy.
• Full exposure before the Lord is essential for healing of the soul (mind, will and emotions). No hiding.
• It is for freedom that Christ set me free (Galatians 5:1). That's not redundant; He already did the work, but I have to choose to remain and live free.
• Friends are essential to my growth and my sanity. I love my friends!
• Too much is really too much. I need to simplify my home, my expectations and my life.
• In order to survive letting people into my heart and my world, to stay open, I MUST become a servant. Make myself lower and elevate the value of other people.
• Having 4 kids might be the riskiest, craziest, thing I (we) have ever done. Who knew it was so challenging to be "just" a mommy! :)
• I like Indian food. In fact I think the secret ingredient in Chicken Tikka Masala might be crack, because I am addicted to it!
• When I looked around and saw suffering - kids unloved, unwanted, starving, enslaved and orphaned - I said, "God why? Do something, love them!" He said, "That's what you're there for...you do it." Whoa...still processing that one, but am looking for opportunities.
• Under no circumstance should I ever set a drink of any kind on the console in the middle of my van. How many cups of coffee do I need to send flying before I get this one?
• Keep the cupholders in the van emptied out.
• Marriage is HARD work! But it's so worth it. Like the old Virginia Slims ad said, we've come a long way, baby!
• Parenting is a long term investment, not a get rich quick program. You don't usually get a return up front, and the things you do today will have to be done all over again tomorrow (and maybe in as little as 10 minutes). I'm living for the "well done" at the end of the race. Note to self: post this somewhere prominent or you will forget by the end of the day.

Voila! There it is...my year in summary. I so loved thinking through all of that and I need to make it a yearly practice. Now, I'm off to do mommy things ;)

Riley-isms

My kids keep me rolling with the things they do and say! These may not be funny to anybody else but us, but here's a few Riley-isms from the last few days:

Riley had just tried cashews for the first time in a while. Her comment: "It makes me gag, but I think I like it."

"I want some pet ducks that don't talk...and a river. Nevermind, I want some penguins in a cage...and a pet chameleon."

"I've got skills, Mom. Watch this." Proceeds to do tricks. "Corban doesn't have the kind of skills I have. He has different skills." I have no idea where that came from, but it makes me think of Napoleon Dynamite..."computer hacking skills, 'num' chuck skills..."

Christopher had just "kissed" Riley. I said "Riley, did Baby give you some loves?" She said, "that's not loves, it's spit!"

I was helping her finish her hot chocolate and she said "I'm a baby bug that opens it's mouth...wait, nevermind. I'm a baby alligator!" followed by...

"I'm a baby beetle that's blue and green!"

"I'm a baby chameleon!"

"I'm a baby penguin!" (while making some nasty gag sound..she said that's what baby penguins do.)

She's been obsessed with watching our Planet Earth DVDs, can you tell?

**UPDATE - apparently all baby animals make the nasty gagging sound. Picture a baby bird with it's mouth open and tongue sticking out - then add a gagging noise, and that's what she's doing.

Riley: "I'm a person." Corban: "you're not a person!" Riley: "I am a person. We are both persons! I am not an animal." Funny, considering the above.


"With my pretend gun I only shoot people who are whining." (that would be Corban)

"Can I call our baby 'Pepe'?" Me: "Why do you want to call him that?" Her: "Because I like that name. I'm gonna call him Christopher Pepe."

Riley said she's a superhero this morning. I'm trying to help her come up with a name, so I asked what her special powers were. She said she "wraps up mean guys and drinks." Random. She just said she's going to be "Whiteyball." No idea where that came from, but I am cracking up!

Kid Stuff

Just some kid stuff... Baby C is trying really hard to stand on his own...he's been able to balance for up to 10 seconds, but not on camera, of course :/

And then he decided he wanted Daddy to chase him. Here he is trying to entice him...

Not to be ignored, Riley and Corban got in the mix and begged to be tickled...

Oh, and did you know we had a mean baby reindeer? Look...

and apparently Corban was being attacked by the brown blanket...

Oops

Okay, my blog looks awful right now. I started playing around with it, and can't get it back the way it was. So, no, this is not on purpose...I'm not loving the birds. Not that there's anything wrong with birds ;)

What Does Peace Look Like Here?

What does peace look like here? That's the big question on my mind. My pastor, Chris Hodges, preached about peace this morning. Listen to this statement: "Peace is not the absence of something (conflict), but the presence of Someone (Jesus)." If you need peace in your life, don't pursue peace, pursue Jesus, who IS peace. He is Sar Shalom, the Lord of Peace...the one in charge of peace. Whoa...that was one of those times I wanted to shout in church, because it was a light bulb moment.

I have been so stressed out and overwhelmed, just with the season of life I am in. Having a teenager and three kids age 4 and under is hard, I don't care who you are and how organized you are...it just is. So the big question is, how do I get peace in the midst of what can only be described as chaos? How do I get in touch with Jesus, bring Him into the situation, so that I can be at peace regardless of what's going on around me?

I don't know yet, but I'll get back to you when I find out ;) I am certain the answer is locked up somewhere between Isaiah 26:3 - "He will keep in perfect peace whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts you" - and Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."

Who Hair and Gingerbread Men

Hallelujah, Christmas break has officially begun. This family is so in need of some schedule-free down time. Riley had her last pre-school day on Wednesday and Caeley had her last day of school today. The 7th grade ends the first semester of school with a celebration and they do something called Who Hair (like as in the Whos in Whoville) which is best described with a photo--



Too fun! Then we decorated gingerbread men...always a good thing. We all enjoyed eating them - for the most part. Caeley ate her whole cookie, Corban picked off the M&Ms and ate one leg and Riley freaked out because icing got on her fingers. She's still working on hers. Mine is half gone and will be finished off before the night is out, I'm sure.




I love this time of year and am so thankful for a break, because, honestly, I'm done - stick a fork in me. I'm ready to refresh, spend some time with the family and restructure and reevaluate during the January fast. I need to hear from God about what my next few months should look like and how I can streamline my routine. I'm way out of whack somewhere.

But for now...it's time to chill...TYJ!

Restoration

I am processing through something I heard this weekend at the LIFE retreat. Tricia Gunn referred to the passage in Luke 7 (it's in other places, too), where the "sinful woman" anoints Jesus. She breaks open a very expensive - like a years' wages expensive - jar of perfume and washes His feet with it. What Tricia said about this has stuck in my mind - she said "the money she earned to buy this perfume, she earned lying on her back." And then she basically said that every time she gave herself to a man she gave away a piece of herself, but when she poured out what she had on Jesus, she was restored. He knew what she was and He knew how she got that perfume, but He did not turn her away or turn from her. In fact, He holds her up as an example and says that everywhere the gospel is preached, her story would also be told.

I have found it to be true that the very things I have done in my past that have caused me shame are also the things that, when brought to light and brought before the throne of God, have given me a greater sense of love and acceptance. As long as we try to hide ourselves from God and cover our shame, it is as though we have made camp in a garbage dump. We sit huddled with the mess we've found ourselves in. The only way to be free of something is to give it to someone else. It's like the clutter I am constantly battling to be rid of - I can hang onto it, or I can give it to Goodwill. Even better I can give it to the garbage collectors. But a decision has to be made...hello, it's GARBAGE!

And the same goes for the junk in our soul (mind and emotions). If we want to be rid of guilt and shame or anger or whatever garbage we live with every day, we have to give it to someone else...and that someone isn't your spouse or kids because they can't handle your junk, either. God the Father is the one who stands ready, and really He has already taken it. Once you have chosen to belong to Him - and it is a choice and anyone can make that choice - the only power the past has over you is the power you give it.

Several months ago God showed me that I had been hiding from Him. Even though I knew in my mind that I was forgiven, I still felt a "yuck" that I couldn't shake and so I tried to hide, as though one could hide from Him. It not only blocked that relationship, but it was blocking other relationships - with Dave, with friends, etc. And that was the power my past had over me. I gave it the power to keep me in shame, until, in a moment of time, God put His finger on it and said, "That's not who you are. I have given you a new name." I had to bring it to Him, be honest about what I had done, about who I had been, and let Him speak the truth to me. It was life-changing. You can do that, too...and you don't have to sit in the dumpster as long as I did.

The cool thing is that what I feared - being exposed - was exactly what I needed to be free. And it is what He has used to make me a better servant to people. It drives me to love others. It moves me with compassion. Last night I saw "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader." Without too much background, because this post is long enough already, a boy named Eustace (how horrible for him) had been turned into a dragon. It happened because he gave in to a temptation, even though he had been warned that temptation was coming...he was weak and so he gave in. There was nothing he could do on his own to change.

In that disappointing state, feeling stuck and feeling sorrow for where he ended up, his destiny to do extraordinary things had not changed. In fact it was exactly because of what he had done, and because he was a dragon that could fly, that he was able to be in a position to be the hero in the story and be used to put all things right. Did that mean what he did was okay? No. Why, then? Because he came to a place of repentance (he turned away from sin toward God). When he met Aslan face to face, suffering the consequences of his sin, he was "healed." In the movie Aslan drew in the sand with His paw and roared a giant lion roar. The scales were blown off and Eustace became a boy again. He became what he always was...the boy that was inside the dragon, but couldn't get free on his own.

My mind instantly went to the story in the gospels of the woman caught in an adulterous situation. Bottom line, Jesus drew in the sand and said he who is without sin can cast the first stone. No one hung around to condemn her, and He said, "I don't condemn you either, go and sin no more." That's what happened to Eustace. He was confronted with the savior, in his sin...he was caught red-handed, so to speak...no hiding it...and was healed and restored. And his destiny had not changed. He could still be great in the kingdom.

God can build off of your past, whatever it is, whether it's things you did or things other people did to you. You can't change the past, but He can make your foundation strong, building on those things, IF you bring it all to Him. He starts where you are, not where you "should" be. He can take garbage and make it treasure, but we have to choose that. Choose it. Please. There is nothing like being seen for who you really are and knowing that you are loved and cherished.