The more I learn and get around, the less I think I know about what matters. I say stuff on this blog, and sometimes people will tell me they like what I've said, or they enjoy reading it. I appreciate the compliments and am encouraged by them, but honestly, most of the time, I feel like a giant windbag...just talking, running my mouth, tapping on the keyboard.
I just think, Lord, if only they knew how clueless I am. Or what a hypocrite I can be. I wonder if I really live and believe everything I say? Is it evident in my life that I'm a follower of Christ or do I look like everybody else?
Do I still fear the opinion of man?
Do I even come close to loving people the way I'm called to?
Do I love and accept people as they are? Or do I make judgments?
Do I give people a chance or make hasty judgments?
Am I willing to serve? To lay down my rights for the greater purpose of glorifying God?
Do I love Him with my whole heart, or is my heart divided?
Am I willing to be uncomfortable?
Do I put myself first?
Am I knocking people over with the plank in my eye, while trying to help them with their speck?
Do I really believe He loves me? Am I underwhelmed?
These are just a bunch of questions rolling around in my head. One thing I don't like is, "fake." So, I thought I'd throw out there that I'm laying some questions out before the Lord and bracing myself for the answers. He desires truth in my inmost being. I think I am ready to hear it...hopefully in small chunks at a time.
Is "chunk" a southern word?? I'm more conscious of my speech since we moved :)
I don't have it together...and have so little figured out. Forgive me if I have behaved as if I do.
That is all.
